Missouri’s Boehmer Law Firm Awarded Top Award for Family Law

PRESS RELEASE

Boehmer Law Has Been Nominated and Accepted as 2019 AIOFLA’S
10 Best in Missouri For Client Satisfaction

The American Institute of Family Law Attorneys has recognized the exceptional performance of Missouri’s Family Law Firm of Boehmer Law as 2019 10 Best Family Law Firm for Client Satisfaction.

The American Institute of Family Law Attorneys is a third-party attorney rating organization that publishes an annual list of the Top 10 Family Law Attorneys in each state. Attorneys who are selected to the “10 Best” list must pass AIOFLA’s rigorous selection process, which is based on client and/or peer nominations, thorough research and AIOFLA’s independent evaluation. AIOFLA’s annual list was created to be used as a resource for clients during the attorney selection process.

One of the most significant aspects of the selection process involves attorney’s relationships and reputation among his or her clients. As clients should be an attorney’s top priority, AIOFLA places the utmost emphasis on selecting lawyers who have achieved significant success in the field of Family Law without sacrificing the service and support they provide. Selection criteria therefore focus on attorneys who demonstrate the highest standards of Client Satisfaction.

We congratulate Boehmer Law on this achievement and we are honored to have him as a 2019 AIOFLA Member.

You can contact Boehmer Law at: 636-896-4020 or https://www.boehmerlaw.com.

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation

Helping My Kids Deal with Divorce Part 3

Many times, during the separation and divorce process our Family Law Attorneys are asked, “What can I do to make this less traumatic for my child(ren)?”  At Boehmer Law, we recognize and understand that these changes affect the WHOLE family, especially the children.  Here are some helpful tips in helping your children through your divorce.  If you need a divorce attorney that understands what you are going through, call the divorce lawyers in St. Charles, MO at 636-896-4020 for a free consultation appointment.

Adjusting to a New Living Situation

Because divorce can be such a big change, adjustments in living arrangements should be handled gradually and explained well.  Advance warning is usually better than “surprises”.

Several types of living situations should be considered:

• one parent may have sole custody
• joint custody in which both legal and physical custody are shared
• joint custody where one parent has “tie-breaking” authority in certain medical or educational settings

Which one is right for your kids? Although some kids can thrive spending half their time with each parent, others seem to need the stability of having one “home” and visiting with the other parent.  Try to talk it out and find out what they feel may work best for them, especially teenagers who have busy lives.

Whatever arrangement you choose, your child’s needs should come first. This is not a war where someone “wins”.  When deciding how to handle holidays, birthdays, and vacations, stay focused on what’s best for the kids. It’s important for parents to resolve these issues themselves and not ask the kids to choose.

During the preteen years, when kids become more involved with activities apart from their parents, they may need different schedules to accommodate their changing priorities. Ideally, kids benefit most from consistent support from both parents, but they may resist equal time-sharing if it interrupts school or their social lives. Try to be flexible.

Parenting Under Pressure

As much as possible, both parents should work to keep routines and discipline the same in both households. Similar expectations about bedtimes, rules, and homework will reduce anxiety, especially in younger children.  If one home has a bed time of 8 PM and the other has one at 10 PM, this can cause sleep disruption and behavioral issues, especially in smaller children.

Even though you can’t enforce the rules in your ex-partner’s home, stick to them in yours. Relaxing limits, especially during a time of change, tends to make kids insecure and less likely to recognize your parental authority later. Feeling guilty and buying things to replace love or letting kids act out is not in their best interests and can lead to problems down the road. Instead, you can lavish affection on them — kids don’t get spoiled by too many hugs or comforting words.

When you and your former spouse can work together and communicate civilly for the benefit of your children, the original family unit can continue to be a source of strength, even if step-families enter the picture.

Remember:

Recognize the signs of stress. Consult your kids’ teachers, doctor, or a child therapist for guidance on how to handle specific problems you’re concerned about.  Keep their teachers and coaches in the loop.  Listen to what they have to say as well.

Be patient with yourself and with your child. Emotional concerns, loss, and hurt following divorce take time to heal and this often happens in phases.  Go through the process and be there for your children—your actions will be how they set their emotions.

If you have any questions or want one of our divorce attorneys to review your situation, please call for a free consultation at 636-896-4020 today.

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

 

Helping My Kids Deal with Divorce Part 1

Many times, during the separation and divorce process our Family Law Attorneys are asked, “What can I do to make this less traumatic for my child(ren)?”  At Boehmer Law, we recognize and understand that these changes affect the WHOLE family, especially the children.  Here are some helpful tips in helping your children through your divorce.  If you need a divorce attorney that understands what you are going through, call the divorce lawyers in St. Charles, MO at 6363-896-4020 for a free consultation appointment.

Every divorce will affect the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry.  The most important thing to remember is how you as the parent act is the greatest influence on how your children will cope with your family changes.

 

The most important things that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time are:

• Keep visible conflict, heated discussions, and legal talk away from the kids.
• Minimize the disruptions to your childrens’ daily routines.
• Confine negativity and blame to private therapy sessions or conversations with limited friends outside the home. Never use social media to air your grievances.
• Do not ask your kids to be put in the middle

Breaking the News

While there is no easy way to break the news, if possible have both parents there for this conversation. It’s important to try to leave feelings of anger, guilt, or blame out of it. Practice how you’re going to manage telling your kids so you don’t become upset or angry during the talk.

The discussion should fit the child’s age, maturity, and temperament. But it should always include this message: What happened is between mom and dad and is not the child’s fault. Most kids will feel they’re to blame even after parents have said that they’re not. So it’s vital for parents to keep giving this reassurance.

Give kids enough information to prepare them for the upcoming changes in their lives. Try to answer their questions as truthfully as possible. Remember that kids don’t need to know all the reasons behind a divorce (especially if it involves blaming the other parent). It’s enough for them to understand what will change in their daily routine — and, just as important, what will not.

With younger kids, it’s best to keep it simple. You might say something like: “Mom and dad are going to live in different houses so they don’t fight so much, but we both love you very much.”

Older kids and teens may be more in tune with what parents have been going through, and might have more questions based on what they’ve overheard and picked up on from conversations and fights.

Handling Kids’ Reactions

Reassure your children that you recognize and care about their feelings, and remind them that all of their upset feelings are normal and understandable.

Not all kids react right away. Assure them you can talk when they’re ready. Some kids try to please their parents by acting as if everything is good, or try to avoid any difficult feelings by denying that they feel any anger or sadness at the change. Sometimes stress comes out in other ways — at school, or with friends, or in changes to their appetite, behavior or sleep patterns.  Make sure both parents are watching for these kinds of changes so you can communicate what to keep an eye on.

Typical Questions Kids Ask:

• Who will I live with?
• Where will I go to school?
• Where will each parent live?
• Where will we spend holidays?
• Will I still get to see my friends?
• Can I still do my favorite activities?

Being honest is not always easy when you don’t have all the answers or when kids are feeling scared or guilty about what’s going on. But telling them what they need to know at that moment is always the right thing to do.

In Part two we will discuss living with the life changes, what to expect, and practical information to learn when you are going through this process.  If you have any questions or want one of our divorce attorneys to review your situation please call for a free consultation at 636-896-4020 today.

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship.

How to Present Yourself During a Child Custody Legal Matter

Being a part of a Child Custody case can be stressful and emotional for all parties involved.  We are often asked “What should I do when I want to fight for custody of my child(ren)?”  Here are some tips that we hope help you in your child custody matters:

Do show a willingness to work with the other party.  It is never good to appear that you are unwilling to work with or not have some compromise with the other parent of your child(ren).  Remember that while you may not like the other party, he or she is a part of your child(ren)s’ lives, and you need to show the family court that you’re willing and able to work together.  It is unreasonable to hold on to the thought that you are always going to get everything you want when there are many people involved.

Do exercise your parental rights. If you’ve been granted visitation rights with your kids, take advantage of it. Spend as much time with them as you can, and make sure that you’re doing regular, everyday things—including homework, school events, extracurricular activities, social events and chores.  Show up on time for pick-ups and drop-offs.  If you think it will help, keep a diary recording all of these events.

Don’t refuse to do anything the court is asking of you. This is your time to show the courts how committed and cooperative you are. If you are required to take parenting classes or seek counseling, do so immediately. View it as an opportunity to demonstrate just how far you’re willing to go for your kids.

Understand the importance of perception. Do everything you can to present yourself to the court as a competent, involved, loving parent. This includes arriving on time, dressing for court, and demonstrating proper courtroom etiquette in front of the judge.  Do not send negative messages via text or emails.  Do not leave aggressive or threatening voicemails.  Do not talk negatively about the other party on social media.  Do not constantly re-schedule your visitation, it may appear you cannot offer a stable environment for the child(ren).

Gather and keep proper documentation. In situations where you honestly believe your children would be unsafe with the other parent— because he or she has a history of physical abuse—you should carefully document your interactions with your ex, as well as his or her interactions with your children. Be aware, though, that the other parent may feel the same way about you and may be preparing similar documentation for the courts.  If you receive threatening messages, voicemails, or emails—save all of them.  If you pay bills beyond what you may have been ordered, keep the receipts.  If it becomes necessary, keep a diary of missed visitations, late pick ups and general notes showing the uncooperative nature of the other party.

Hire an experienced child custody lawyer. Even if you don’t think you can afford a lawyer, set up a free consultation to discuss your options.  At Boehmer Law all our initial consultations are free.  You can come in, discuss the basics of your case and the attorney will discuss your options and what you could expect moving forward.

Don’t talk negatively about the opposing party to your kids. In front of your kids, try to keep your opinions and feelings about the situation to yourself. Vent your frustration to a trusted friend, instead.  Do not make your children pawns that are put in the middle of your proceedings.  This can not only hurt your case, but harm your children.

Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs, especially when you’re with your kids. These behaviors could be documented and used against you. Make sure there’s not even the suggestion that you’re doing something that would put your kids at risk.  Do not post photos on social media that may hurt your case and leave a negative impression.

Tell the truth.   Never come up with unfounded allegations of abuse or exaggerate your ex’s shortcomings in order to win custody. Any lies you present may come back and be used against you in court.

If you need help with a child custody matter or other Family Law matters in Missouri, call Boehmer Law today to schedule your free consultations.  The attorney you meet with will listen to your case and discuss the options that apply to your specific case.  Please call 636-896-4020 so we can get fighting for you today!

 

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

Is a Non-Contested Divorce Right for Me?

Most divorces fall into one of two categories:  Contested and Non-Contested.  A contested divorce is one in which the divorcing parties cannot agree on issues such as child support, custody of children, maintenance, distribution of debt, or division of property. In a contested divorce, the couple ultimately takes these issues to court to be resolved. This may draw out the divorce process and result in higher legal costs.   A contested divorce can take anywhere from six months up to two years.

An uncontested divorce means that both spouses are able to agree on these issues from the onset of the case without significant negotiations or court involvement. They generally move more swiftly through the system and are less expensive than contested divorces.   An uncontested divorce will still have some of the same requirements such as parent education classes, parenting plans, and other state required paperwork—but the turn around time can be much faster such as a 60 day time period.   We still recommend an attorney to work on your behalf to ensure your interests are being considered throughout the process and ensures the complicated paperwork is drafted properly.   Additionally, if an uncontested divorce turns contested (which does happen) you will want an attorney familiar with your situation to work on your behalf.

 

Uncontested Divorce Advantages: 

• Unlike a traditional divorce, the process is typically a mutually respectful, open-minded process that focuses on joint problem solving.

 

• Uncontested divorce avoids court. The goal (and key difference between a traditional divorce and an uncontested one) with an uncontested divorce is to reach an agreement without going to Court by developing an effective relationship with your ex-spouse that enables you to make joint decisions on your property and children (if applicable).

 

• While divorce ends a marriage, it also is the start of a new life for both parties. When both parties interact with each other respectfully and cooperatively, an uncontested divorce can help parents and children move forward, hopefully in a positive and supportive spirit.

 

• An uncontested divorce is often a much smoother process.  By pledging mutual respect and openness, the parties learn how to work with each other instead of against each other and the parties learn how to resolve their problems in the future without needing to litigate.

At Boehmer Law we offer a fixed price for a non-contested divorce if you think that may be the best option for your situation.  We offer a free consultation to come in and sit down with one of our St. Charles, MO divorce attorneys and discuss your needs.  Please call 636-896-4020 to schedule your free consultation today.

 

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

Missouri Paternity and Non-Paternity Issues

At Boehmer Law, our Paternity Lawyers and Family Lawyers in St. Charles, MO understand that not being certain of the identity of a child’s father can be agonizing and emotionally overwhelming for everyone involved.  Paternity (fatherhood) of a child can occur within marriage or outside of marriage.

Making an accurate determination about the paternity of a child is critical. The results of these actions can have a serious impact on everyone involved. Child support, custody and visitation, parental rights and other considerations from the outcome of a paternity action.

A father who is not married to a child’s mother can verify (or disprove) paternity by acknowledgment or by genetic testing. In the state of Missouri, whether a couple is married or not married, if a paternity is assumed, either party can also file for a petition of non-paternity to disprove that someone is the father of a child(ren) in question.

You Can Voluntarily Acknowledge Paternity

In many states, you can acknowledge paternity without actually proving it, as long as all parties agree.  Keep in mind, if a man proves through genetic testing that he is not the father, it can be difficult for the court to accept a claim for paternity.  When your child is born, you can usually sign an acknowledgment at the hospital. Your name will appear on your child’s birth certificate as the father. You can usually also acknowledge paternity at a later time, by contacting your state’s department of vital records or department of health.   Keep in mind by claiming that one is the father of a child, they are also assuming all the responsibilities of fatherhood.

What if I change my mind?

After you acknowledge paternity, you may decide to take another look at your paternity if evidence comes to light that you may not be the child’s father. In Missouri, if you have suspicions that you are not the father of a child, you can file for a petition for non-paternity to prove through genetic testing that you are not the father of a child.  This may be important down the road if there are issues with regards to child support and inheritance rights.  At any point in time during a child’s life you can file for a petition of non-paternity.

Your Actions Can Establish Paternity

In Missouri, the law assumes you are the father of any child born during your marriage. You don’t have to do anything to prove paternity, but you might want to disprove it. Even if years have passed during which the child believes you are her father, this is possible.  Even if a mother does not want to do any type of genetic testing, the courts may require her to submit the child for testing if someone wants to prove or disprove paternity.

Ways Paternity Can be established

DNA Test

A DNA test is the most conclusive scientific test offered today.  A child inherits half of its DNA from its father, so scientists analyze samples of both parties to determine whether the man’s DNA could have contributed to the baby’s.  If you need a test to legally prove the identity of your baby’s father, a neutral third party, such as a doctor, must collect a cell sample from the baby and the potential father by softly rubbing the insides of each person’s cheeks with cotton swabs. The samples are then sent to a lab, which determines whether the men can be excluded as possible fathers. If one cannot be excluded, the lab will determine the probability that he is the father. Probabilities from DNA tests tend to be above 99 percent.  Prenatal DNA testing can also be done if necessary.

Agreed Paternity Stipulation

If no DNA testing is done and all parties involved with a paternity case agree that someone is the father of a child, the court will recognize that paternity.

Let one of the Family Attorneys at Boehmer Law help you today.  The laws surrounding the establishment of paternity, as well as its rights and duties, are very complicated.   If you have any questions about proving or disproving paternity for a child please call Boehmer Law today at 636-896-4020.  Your consultation visit is free and confidential—we will listen to the facts of your case and advise you on what we believe to be the best course of action.

Our clients in these types of cases include:

• Unmarried men who are being deprived of a relationship or visitation to their children by a mother
• Mothers who are trying to establish paternity to secure child support
• Assumed or alleged fathers who refute any biological relation to the child

Our paternity issues lawyers represent and help our clients on all sides of paternity issues. We know the law, we know your rights, and we will fight hard on your behalf because we understand what is at stake.

Call for your free consultative appointment today at 636-896-4020.  We are conveniently located off Boones Lick Road in St. Charles, MO—let us get working for you!