How to Present Yourself During a Child Custody Legal Matter

Being a part of a Child Custody case can be stressful and emotional for all parties involved.  We are often asked “What should I do when I want to fight for custody of my child(ren)?”  Here are some tips that we hope help you in your child custody matters:

Do show a willingness to work with the other party.  It is never good to appear that you are unwilling to work with or not have some compromise with the other parent of your child(ren).  Remember that while you may not like the other party, he or she is a part of your child(ren)s’ lives, and you need to show the family court that you’re willing and able to work together.  It is unreasonable to hold on to the thought that you are always going to get everything you want when there are many people involved.

Do exercise your parental rights. If you’ve been granted visitation rights with your kids, take advantage of it. Spend as much time with them as you can, and make sure that you’re doing regular, everyday things—including homework, school events, extracurricular activities, social events and chores.  Show up on time for pick-ups and drop-offs.  If you think it will help, keep a diary recording all of these events.

Don’t refuse to do anything the court is asking of you. This is your time to show the courts how committed and cooperative you are. If you are required to take parenting classes or seek counseling, do so immediately. View it as an opportunity to demonstrate just how far you’re willing to go for your kids.

Understand the importance of perception. Do everything you can to present yourself to the court as a competent, involved, loving parent. This includes arriving on time, dressing for court, and demonstrating proper courtroom etiquette in front of the judge.  Do not send negative messages via text or emails.  Do not leave aggressive or threatening voicemails.  Do not talk negatively about the other party on social media.  Do not constantly re-schedule your visitation, it may appear you cannot offer a stable environment for the child(ren).

Gather and keep proper documentation. In situations where you honestly believe your children would be unsafe with the other parent— because he or she has a history of physical abuse—you should carefully document your interactions with your ex, as well as his or her interactions with your children. Be aware, though, that the other parent may feel the same way about you and may be preparing similar documentation for the courts.  If you receive threatening messages, voicemails, or emails—save all of them.  If you pay bills beyond what you may have been ordered, keep the receipts.  If it becomes necessary, keep a diary of missed visitations, late pick ups and general notes showing the uncooperative nature of the other party.

Hire an experienced child custody lawyer. Even if you don’t think you can afford a lawyer, set up a free consultation to discuss your options.  At Boehmer Law all our initial consultations are free.  You can come in, discuss the basics of your case and the attorney will discuss your options and what you could expect moving forward.

Don’t talk negatively about the opposing party to your kids. In front of your kids, try to keep your opinions and feelings about the situation to yourself. Vent your frustration to a trusted friend, instead.  Do not make your children pawns that are put in the middle of your proceedings.  This can not only hurt your case, but harm your children.

Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs, especially when you’re with your kids. These behaviors could be documented and used against you. Make sure there’s not even the suggestion that you’re doing something that would put your kids at risk.  Do not post photos on social media that may hurt your case and leave a negative impression.

Tell the truth.   Never come up with unfounded allegations of abuse or exaggerate your ex’s shortcomings in order to win custody. Any lies you present may come back and be used against you in court.

If you need help with a child custody matter or other Family Law matters in Missouri, call Boehmer Law today to schedule your free consultations.  The attorney you meet with will listen to your case and discuss the options that apply to your specific case.  Please call 636-896-4020 so we can get fighting for you today!

 

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

To Text or Not To Text—That is the Question

According to the Pew Research Center, a vast majority of Americans – 95% – now own a cellphone of some kind. The number Americans that own smartphones is now 77%.   913,242,000 texts are sent every hour of every day worldwide, not including app-to-app messaging making text messaging the most used data service in the world.  In America, 81% of Americans in general, text regularly and 91% of teens with cell phones actively text.[1]    So how can all of this impact your legal case such as a divorce, family law matter, or criminal charges?

What you text matters—and they can be used for or against you in court.

A Criminal Accusation

A Plaintiff and Defendant were dating previously, the Plaintiff now says that Defendant has been harassing h-er by sending her many un-wanted text messages, social media messages and voice mails.  These are filled with profanities and derogatory, violent, and upsetting comments. She wants to be left alone and wants an Order of Protection.  All of the messages and posts left by the Defendant can be used against them to obtain an Order of Protection.  The Plaintiff was able to use these messages to prove her case.

Family Feuds

If you are in a divorce and/or custody proceeding and you send negative texts about the other parent to your kids, or send derogatory remarks to a new spouse these may put you in a poor light and could have an effect on the outcome in your case.

Promoting and Distribution Child Pornography in Missouri

If you text pornographic images of underage children from one phone to another device you could be charged with promoting and distribution of child pornography.  This can happen between a 14 year old girl and an 18 year old boy.  Here is a link to the statutes in the state of Missouri with regards to promoting child pornography: http://revisor.mo.gov/main/OneSection.aspx?section=573.025&bid=29760&hl=

If you need the legal help of an experienced lawyer in St. Charles, MO call Boehmer Law.  Our family attorneys, divorce attorneys and criminal attorneys have years of experience working in the legal system and are ready to help fight for your rights.  All our initial consultations are free—so call Boehmer Law today at 636-896-4020.

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

[1] 73 Texting Statistics That Answer All Your Questions Posted on May 24, 2016 by Kenneth Burke

Child Custody and What to Consider

When two parents divorce or separate and they are unable to work out a jointly agreeable parenting plan for their child(ren), they then must go to Court to seek a child custody order. When that happens, the parents are putting the decision of their child(ren)’s and family’s future into the hands of a family law judge who must now decide what plan will be in the over-all best interest of the child(ren).

As one can imagine, such a determination is very difficult for the judge. Faced with claims from each parent about how the other is unfit or neglectful, the judge must consider the evidence before them and come to a decision without having any actual firsthand personal knowledge or prior relationship with either parent or the child(ren). To assist the judge analysis, family law judges will often appoint a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) to investigate and assess each party’s claims and to come up with a recommended custodial plan.

 

If you have a child custody issue or need help from a St. Charles, MO child custody Attorney, please call Boehmer Law LLC for a free consultation appointment at 636-896-4020. We have several Family Law attorneys that handle child custody issues, and we will evaluate your case to see what can be done to help you.

Regrettably, good parents can end up being classified as unfit or neglectful based upon some simple and avoidable mistakes that are often made by parents who are in the heart of a child custody battle

Refusing to Communicate and Co-Parent with the Other Party
A common mistake that occurs when one of the parents is in the midst of a child custody battle, and refuses to communicate with or co-parent cooperatively. If parents cannot agree on joint legal custody, then the judge may look to see if one parent should have sole decision-making authority due to the other’s refusal or inability to co-parent. If that is the case, then a parent who refuses to communicate with the other about the child(ren)runs the risk of being deemed the “problem” parent who should not be given a say in the important legal custody decisions pertaining to the child(ren).

 
The best course of action for a parent is to present themselves as a cooperative and reasonable adult who is trying his or her best to work with the other parent for the best interest of the child(ren). It is key to show that they are trying to keep an open line of communication regarding the child(ren), and to maintain an air of cooperation when it comes to making decisions about the child(ren)’s well-being.

 

Using Poor Judgement on Social Media
All too often, parents will turn to social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) while in the midst of a custody battle to vent their frustrations, belittle the other parent, or even just show their friends all of the fun they are having in their newly-single lives. However, social media is “social” and is not private. Often, the information and images posted on social media are available to the entire general public, which includes the other parent and their attorney.

Some of the best evidence of a parent having a substance abuse or alcohol problem can be provided through pictures posted of the parent looking visibly intoxicated or using drugs. Furthermore, any posts in which the parent speaks poorly of the other parent, the other attorney, and/or the judge provide proof of poor parenting that could be used in court. A good rule of thumb when it comes to social media is to never post something on social media that you would not be comfortable having a judge read or display in open court.

Disobeying the Court’s Temporary Custody Orders
A common approach by the Court is to issue temporary interim custody orders at the onset of a divorce or paternity action, which will remain in place until there is a trial. Such short-term orders can govern the physical timeshare of the child(ren)between the parties, the decision-making power of each parent, and other custody issues.

 
One of the worst mistakes that can be made by a parent is to disobey or disregard the Court’s temporary orders. For example, a parent may fail to return the child(ren)by a specific time on a specific day. Or, a parent may remove the child(ren)from the state without the permission of the other party or a court order allowing such removal. In either case, the other party will undoubtedly bring the matter to the Court’s attention to show that the violating parent does not respect the Court’s authority or desire to cooperate. This type of behavior is not well-taken by family law judges and may have a very negative impact for the parent on the judge’s final decision.

 

Getting Arrested
One of the clearest ways in which a custody litigant can show a family law judge that he or she is not a fit parent is by getting arrested while the custody dispute is pending. If there are allegations of alcohol and/or substance abuse, then a parent’s arrest for a DUI/DWI or possession of illegal drugs will almost certainly confirm the allegation. And, if any of the child(ren)are present in the vehicle while the parent is driving while under the influence or in possession of the narcotics, then the violating parent’s chances of winning in the custody battle are damaged.

 
If one parent accuses the other parent of being unfit, abusive or dangerous to be around and that parent is then arrested for a violent crime, even if they are not convicted or charged, they provide the other parent with ammunition to claim that the arrested parent has an anger management problem or propensity for violence. This could lead to a finding by the judge that the parent may not be permitted to have unsupervised custodial time with the child(ren).

 
If you need help with your Missouri Child Custody issues, please call Boehmer Law today to set up your free consultation with one of our Family Law Attorneys at 636-896-4020.

 

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation.

Boehmer Law Welcomes Keith Freie

Boehmer Law is pleased to announce that former Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for Montgomery County, Missouri and Gasconade County, Missouri Keith P. Freie is joining our firm.   Keith will be handling Missouri Divorce, Family Law, Wills and Estates and other legal needs.  You may call our office for a free consultation appointment with Keith at 636-896-4020.

 

Keith P. Freie is a Montgomery County, MO native.  Keith was raised on a rural Missouri farm where he operated a grain and livestock operation.  Keith graduated from Wellsville-Middletown where he attended Future Farmers of America (FFA) and Future Business Leaders of America (FBLA).  Keith attended William Woods University where he earned a Bachelor of Art in political/ legal studies and computer information science.

After graduating William Woods University, Keith attended the University of Missouri School of Law.  Keith graduated in the top twenty-five percent (25%) of his graduating class.  While in law school, Keith worked for the Missouri Department of Public Safety, Callaway County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office and a private law firm.

Immediately following graduation, Keith opened his own solo law firm where he represented clients in family and divorce law, mediation services, criminal law, wills and trusts, probate, real estate transactions and disputes, and general civil law.  Keith served as Assistant Prosecuting Attorney for Montgomery and Gasconade Counties.  Keith has also served as Counsel for the Montgomery County Juvenile Office.

Keith resides in Montgomery County and enjoys traveling, demolition derbies and the outdoors.  In his free time, Keith helps out at a local gym where he is a certified personal trainer.

 

 

Divorce from a Child’s Perspective

Divorce is a scary, confusing time in a child’s life—no matter what the age.  While it may not always come as a surprise, it can still alter a child’s world of what they believed to be true and good.  Imagine being a child and then believing the people you love most in the world now ‘hate’ each other.  Now add the feeling of having no control over what your own life and the uncertainty of what the future holds.

At Boehmer Law, we know what it can be like for children when their parents are going through a combative divorce.  It is key to remember that children examine what you say, and they can feel your struggles as well.  In the middle of having your family breaking up, it is easy to get caught up in your own life and not be aware of what is happening to your kids.   Some kids act out, some kids shut down.  Everyone reacts to the stress of this time differently.  Watch for dramatic behavior swings or mood changes—these are big clues on what is going on in your child’s mind.  Open the lines of communication in a ‘consequence free’ tone so your kids can talk to you about their hurt, anger, fears or whatever else is on their mind.

If you find yourself lashing out at your ex-spouse, be aware of your surroundings and be careful around your children. As we have suggested before, seeking the advice of a good family therapist is almost always beneficial. Remembering the impact of your emotions on your children may allow you to choose the time to break down, and to keep the adult issues between the adults.  Kids never need to be the go-between parents as this puts them in the awkward position of potential misdirected anger being pointed in their direction.

If you need help with a divorce of family law matter please contact Boehmer Law LLC by calling 636-896-4020 for a free consultation visit.  See how our St. Charles, MO divorce lawyers and Missouri family law attorneys can help you.

What Does THAT Mean?

At Boehmer Law LLC ,we understand that when you or a loved one is going through a divorce or family law issue, it can be a stressful time. Sometimes it may feel a bit confusing with all the terms and phrases that can be used. With words like “GAL”, “modification”, “petition”, “motion,” or “Form 14” being thrown around, it can be confusing, and maybe a little intimidating. Just in case you do not already know, here is some information that may help you out.

GAL: (Guardian ad Litem) In some Missouri family court cases, it is necessary for the Court to appoint a guardian ad litem. A GAL is usually an attorney and can be appointed in divorce, paternity and custody modification cases to represent the best interests of the children involved in the domestic matter.
Petitioner: The person who files the divorce or modification petition.
Respondent: The person on the receiving end of the divorce or modification petition.
Answer: The response filed by the respondent to the petition. Much of what is in the petition is not controversial (names, addresses, etc.), so those allegations will be admitted. If the respondent doesn’t agree with any allegation, then that allegation is denied.
Petition: The document that gets the legal process started. The petition sets out certain basic facts—where you live, the date you got married, if you have kids (or not), if you work outside the home, etc.—and then states that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Those last two words are required. Each factual declaration in the petition is referred to as an “allegation.”
Motion: Any request made to the court after a petition is filed.
PDL Motion: (Pendente Lite), essentially means while the divorce is pending. A PDL motion is a request for the court to enter orders that are in affect while the case is pending. The PDL motion can address issues such as parenting (child custody), child support, maintenance, attorneys’ fees, and/or protective orders (to protect assets or individuals). If the court grants any of these requests, the result can be referred to as a “PDL judgment” or “PDL order.”
Hearing: A proceeding before a judge. Sometimes these are “testimonial” hearings, in which evidence and testimony are presented. In other cases they are “non-testimony” motions, when lawyers argue issues before a judge but no witnesses appear. Judges issue orders following these hearings.
Form 14: Missouri’s mechanism for determining the amount of child support to be paid is a chart with calculations imbedded within it. It is based upon several factors, including both parties’ incomes, the cost of medical insurance, and the parenting schedule.
These are just a few of the terms that divorce lawyers use frequently. If your lawyer uses any words that you don’t understand, do not be afraid to ask what they mean and how they affect your case.
Please contact the St. Charles, Missouri divorce lawyers and Missouri family law attorneys of Boehmer Law LLC with your divorce and family law questions. Your first consultation visit is free so call 636-896-4020 to set an appointment.

Being Great Co-Parents

At Boehmer Law, we understand that after a divorce, everyone in a family is stressed, especially the children. Great co-parents work together to formalize family plans so that everyone can focus on keeping families as stress free during transition times and maintaining balance between households. Working together for Child Custody and Visitation is always the best course of action. Here are some tips to help:

1. Review your Parenting Agreement: Review your Parenting Agreement regarding all schedules. Work out the schedule and logistics for school events, sports teams, and any other extra-curricular activities your children are involved in. Make sure you are in compliance with any notice requirements and immediately alert the co-parent if there are any issues regarding the plan terms or changes that are made. Working together to comply is a key here to helping your kids see the co-parents working together instead of against one another. Keep in mind that sometimes unexpected events like kid’s birthdays parties, death of family members and illnesses do happen. Being flexible for your children’s sake is key to helping them cope.
2. Keep a calendar. Avoid miscommunication and frustrations by documenting plans and events to a calendar. There are several tools that allow families to efficiently and effectively communicate about scheduling including, but not limited to, Google Calendar, Our Family Wizard and 2houses.com
3. Planning summer holidays and special events. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day come at the same time each year. If your parenting plan does not designate a holiday schedule, then try to address a proposed holiday plan with your co-parent well in advance of the holiday. Often planning two years in advance can avoid arguments and holiday stress. If you are unable to resolve the issue directly, then consider contacting a mediator or custody lawyer in an effort to reach an amicable resolution. Keep in mind, spending quality time is what matters to your child and not the date on the calendar.
4. Making Travel plans. Everyone loves a family vacation. Make sure you provide your travel plans, including itinerary, lodging accommodations, and contact information for the children for the other co-parent. If traveling overseas, be sure you have the requisite travel documents including passports, visas, vaccinations, insurance, and any travel document requiring the co-parent’s signature. Be sure to follow your parenting plan regarding notice requirements, the timing of exchange of travel documents, and other terms relating to travel plans. If you do not have a Parenting Agreement (or the Agreement does not specify travel terms), then notify your co-parent immediately about your proposed travel plans with the children. We recommend that you discuss vacation plans before you actually book/pay for travel in case there are issues. If you cannot reach an agreement, contact a mediator or family lawyer to assist you in finding an amicable resolution. However, be realistic about the timing of your travel plans, especially if there is limited notice for non-emergency travel plans.
5. Be flexible. Co-parenting requires understanding and flexibility. For example, summer plans are more likely to change than during the school year. Specifically, depending on your child’s age, the child may have his or her own ideas about the summer schedule or travel plans. When considering a Missouri divorce attorney,  discuss what is important with you in your parenting plans.  Remember birthday parties for friends and special school events are important to your kids too!

If you need a family lawyer, child custody lawyer or a modification lawyer in Missouri, please contact Boehmer Law LLC at 636-896-4020 for a free consultation appointment. At Boehmer Law we will work with you to help draft a parenting plan that works for everyone.

The choice of an attorney is an important one and should not be based solely on advertising.

Legal Seperation in Missouri

Sometimes, two married partners would rather file for legal separation rather than get divorced, especially if there is hope of a future reconciliation. What is the difference between a divorce and a legal separation? Missouri revised statutes set forth a procedure for legal separation as an alternative to divorce. When legal separation occurs in Missouri, the court does not actually end the marriage, but issues orders that are the same as those that would be issued in a divorce.

A legal separation case in Missouri is initiated when one spouse files a petition for the legal separation. The court enters a judgment of legal separation when it finds a reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and that the marriage is not irretrievably broken. The action also means that to the extent it has jurisdiction, the court has considered and made provision for the custody and the support of each child, the maintenance of either spouse and the disposition of property.

From the time of the filing, 30 days must elapse before the court grants a legal separation. A ruling grants the couple all of the legal protections associated with a divorce without actually ending the marriage. If a couple holds out hope of reconciliation, a legal separation can be an appropriate alternative. Because the couple remains married, the legal separation ruling needs only to be dismissed to permit a full reconciliation of the marriage.   Note that one of the spouses must live in Missouri for 90 days before filing.

Please keep in mind that a separation agreement is a legal binding contract signed by both spouses, which is meant to resolve debt, property(s), and child related issues. If this is the option you wish to explore, call to schedule a free consultation with one of the divorce and family law attorneys in St. Charles, MO at 636-896-4020. The experienced attorneys at Boehmer Law can help you come up with a plan of action that meets your needs.

What Makes a Great Lawyer?

Lawyers have existed since ancient times, developing rules, and helping those they represent in an attempt to maintain peace and order in communities. Today, attorneys can be found all over the world and handle all of legal matters such as criminal charges, family law issues, personal injury matter and all sorts of civil litigation matters. However, not all lawyers and legal representation is the same.  Why settle? Boehmer Law has criminal lawyers, family lawyers, divorce lawyers, and personal injury attorneys ready to work for  you.

What does it take to be successful in this demanding field? Here are some of the qualities a top lawyers possess that you should look for in choosing who will help you or your loved ones in legal matters:

Ability to Listen:  You want a lawyer who listens to the client’s situation and is able to identify the issues that exist in the situation.   You want a lawyer who has the time to sit down with you and discuss the information of your case.

Reading the Situation:  Lawyers need to respond accordingly to whatever a situation might be.   A good lawyer should be able to understand people and their motivations and read a broad situation.  For example, when attempting to resolve a matter before it goes to litigation, a good lawyer can (a) identify what the other side is looking for in order to resolve the matter, (b) get a sense of the other side’s position – Are they bluffing?  Is the other side prepared to fight?  Is one of the parties in desperate financial straits and close to being unable to settle? and (c) sense when the time is right to strike the best possible deal for their client.

Experience:  Not all lawyers have the same experiences.  Some lawyers have never tried a case and are not willing to—make sure you ask a lot of questions to find out what types of experiences your lawyer has with your particular type of case and how it will benefit you.

Analytical Skills: A great lawyer has excellent analytical skills and is able to readily make sense of a large volume of information.  A great lawyer will see the strengths and weaknesses in a case, and will know how to use the strengths and mitigate the weaknesses as they review all the information and create strategies to best help your situation.

Creativity: A great lawyer is creative and able to think of reasonable solutions when problems and unique situations arise.

Logical Thinking Ability: A great lawyer is able to think logically and make reasonable judgments and assumptions based on information presented.

If you are looking for great legal representation from award-winning attorneys that are here to fight for your rights—all Boehmer Law today at 636-896-4020 or visit www.boehmerlaw.com today.  Your first consultation visit is always free—do not wait.

Boehmer Law, LLC Welcomes Kevin D. Morris to The Firm

Boehmer Law is pleased to announce the addition of our newest attorney, Kevin D. Morris.

Kevin D. Morris is a St. Charles, MO native. Kevin graduated from Duchesne High School where he played football and basketball. After graduating Duchesne, Kevin attended Missouri State University where he earned a Bachelor of Science in Business and Entertainment Management. Kevin was on the Dean’s List for academic excellence and was a member of the Sigma Chi Fraternity. During his time at Missouri State, Kevin also completed an internship in sports marketing with Iron Mountain Sports.

After graduating Missouri State University, Kevin attended the University of Missouri-Columbia Law School. Kevin graduated in the top one-third of his class and was an active member of the Phi Delta Phi legal fraternity. During this time Kevin worked for the St. Louis Rams Public Relations Department and in their training camps. While in law school Kevin also worked as a law clerk and worked on political campaigns.

Kevin is a St. Charles, MO attorney and has been practicing Family and Divorce Law, Criminal Law, Personal Injury, Employment Law and Civil law in the St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri area. Kevin’s case experience includes divorce, modifications, DUI/DWI, debt collection, employment law, civil litigation, business litigation, debt collection, and personal injury law. Recently, Kevin worked on a civil litigation case that resulted in a seven figure settlement for the client and contributed to workers compensation case which successfully resulted in a deceased client’s disability benefits in excess of six figures being transferred to the deceased’s son.

Kevin resides in St. Charles, MO and enjoys golf, fishing, traveling and cheering on his favorite Missouri teams like the Cardinals, the Blues and the Missouri Tigers.

Please feel free to contact Boehmer Law and speak with Kevin. Your initial consultation is free, so call 636-896-4020 now to make your appointment. Visit www.boehmerlaw.com for more information.